Sleeping Together
by Poetic Folly
Summary: Naruto's a bit depressed, and Kakashi sums it all up to him needing one thing. But when he complains to Alex, he discovers he's already had it! Some rather amusing banter. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! Or any products of the anime/manga products. I do, however, own the character Alex Lockhearte and the plot!

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"Seriously, Naruto; you're nineteen! In the life of a shinobi, you're getting old. You need to be laid." Now, really, who could _not_ stop, stare, and then begin yelling at your sensei for telling you _that_?

Exactly. Very few.

However, obviously, Naruto was not one of those lucky few who would simply shrug and continue walking along. You see, Hatake Kakashi had noticed a few things, being the observant, wonderful Jounin that he was. That Naruto had been looking rather depressed lately, that when spoken to he didn't even have a bit of a witty comeback -- all in all, he was acting more like Sasuke! (Although quite a bit louder…)

So Kakashi had come to a conclusion. Naruto needed sex, and he needed it fast. Of course, in the perverted mind of the blonde's sensei, this was all perfectly logical.

However, in the slightly more sane and LESS perverted mind of Naruto, it was not a bit logical.

And, of course, as always, Alex broke up the fight, managing to cool the Hokage down. When Naruto had stalked off, still in a huff, Alex glanced at Kakashi. "Now what did you say to him, Kakashi-sensei?" She demanded. The genius shrugged. "I simply said he needed to sleep with someone. Say, Alex, you're single, right?" Kakashi suddenly switched subjects, looking the female up and down. Over the years Alex had grown; she was still a tomboyish little devil, but she had grown about two more inches (a grand height of 5'11!), which was only two inches less than Naruto's. (You have no idea how proud Naruto was to have grown to be 6 feet!)

Alex blinked, and slowly nodded. "Yes…Why?" Kakashi blinked--at least, Alex was assuming it was a blink--and drew his eyes back to her face after studying her. "Maybe you and Naruto should sleep together. He needs it." His tone was completely serious, although if one looked closely, they would be able to tell his blue eye was sparkling with humor.

"What are you talking about, Kakashi-sensei? Naruto and I sleep together all the time. You should know that." Alex questioned, looking puzzled.

"Wait a minute--you, you've slept with each-other? Seriously? All the time?" Kakashi stammered, staring at her in disbelief. She slowly nodded. "Yeah, of course. We live together, you know. Sometimes it's a little hard to ignore." She laughed somewhat sheepishly. "We argue a lot, so we usually end up on the bed. We're stubborn. Although he does get a little rough at times…" As the Jounin continued to stare at her, she arched an eyebrow. "What? Don't look at me that way; you should have already known that. You're losing your touch." She teased, laughing again.

"If you were complaining about it, I don't know why he didn't say anything. It isn't like Naruto to be so secretive." She continued thoughtfully, frowning faintly.

At that moment, Kakashi grabbed her arm and teleported them, directly in front of the Hokage. "AHH! KAKASHI! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, JUST TELEPORTING IN HERE? Oh--Alex? What are you doing here?" Naruto switched tones completely, staring at Alex in confusion. "You said you hadn't been laid yet! Yet Alex says that you two sleep together all the time!" Kakashi complained, thrusting the girl forwards and shaking her slightly for emphasis.

"Eh? But we…." Naruto and Kakashi both looked at the American, who had just dissolved into giggles. "As far as I know, both of us are still virgins. Alex, what did you tell him?" Naruto continued, flabbergasted.

Alex gave up with the giggles, and started laughing so hard tears ran down her face. "Kakashi-sensei, you only asked if we _slept_ together." She managed, grinning and straightening from her bent-over, holding-her-stomach position. Kakashi blinked in confusion, before realization dawned on him. --And Naruto, too. "You little minx… you knew what I thought the entire time… And knew exactly what you were saying, didn't you?" There was something that sounded suspiciously like respect in his voice, before he, too, chuckled.

"Yup. The entire time. I knew what you meant, but you only ever asked if we slept together. We do. All the time. As I said, we start fighting, because Naruto refuses to let me have the bed for more than three nights a week, and… he does get rough. Why, just the other night, he actually yelled at me." She smiled impishly, giggling again. Naruto slowly grinned. "But it was so fun leading you on, Kakashi-sensei! You should've seen your expression!" Alex began, before dissolving into laughter once again. Naruto laughed with her, having a good time imagining his former sensei's expression.

"You could have always just asked me when was wrong, you know. That's what normal people do." Naruto pointed out, grinning. Kakashi… simply blinked. "Oh. It is? Well in that case, why've you been acting so Sasuke-ish lately?" He asked, reveling in the fact that he could simply ask someone what was wrong. "Alex, that's what. She's doing a better job of Hokage's Assistant than I am at being Hokage!" Naruto complained, glaring at the brunette. Alex sighed, and walked towards the blonde. "Naruto, come on. I'm just keeping you organized. That's all I do. I could never be anywhere near as strong as you are, and frankly, I'd be terrified if I even tried to be. You could easily kill me. All I do is keep you organized, Naruto." She smiled, somewhat sadly, placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

Kakashi observed the quiet smiles they gave each-other, the friendly, re-assuring hugs. Once again, his mind came up with the most logical thing that should happen next.

"I still think you two should have sex." Kakashi, rather bluntly, stated, calm as ever.

He was, quite literally, kicked out of the Hokage building by two very strong feet. He stood, brushed himself off, and resumed reading Icha Icha Paradise, walking towards Iruka's.

"Like I said…."

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… **XD OMG! I cannot believe I actually wrote that… I was laughing the entire time!…This is definitely not my style, but I was just thinking randomly during dinner, and my mind came up with this. Heh; I know the writing completely sucks, and in no way is this my best!**

**So, my apologies, and laughs. XD I'm STILL laughing… A bit of an inside thing, really. Betwixt my friend and I. Oh, and this is a little mini-sequel to my main fan fiction, Foreign Exchange Student. Read it if you want to understand a bit more of my character, Alex! (And it's still a work in progress--Foreign Exchange Student, I mean…)**


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